The two main things always on my mind these days: the devestation of watching my sister get nearer to death and the excitement of getting ready for my baby to arrive.
Sarah hasn't left her bed for a week now. And as of the last couple of days she is no longer speaking. It is heartbreaking to see her sleeping for the majority of her days and being unable to verbally respond when her eyes are open. She seemed to be aware of me talking to her today as I told her how the kids pray for her each day and how I miss hearing her laugh. It was nice being able to spend time with her while my kids were being watched by a friend of mine today. My mom continues to amaze me with her calm and happy demeanor as she is always either caring for my sister or visiting with the constant string of people coming in and out of her home. I know she must be overwhelmed and I always feel ashamed that I am the one being emotional while she remains so strong. I dream vivid dreams of Sarah often. I wonder what she must be feeling.
Then there are the other times that I am so grateful for. The times I get caught up in the excitement and anticipation of preparing for our new baby. I finally starting making name lists and lists of projects to do, things I need to buy, and items that I want to pack for when the baby comes. I'm a list maker and I like having things to focus on. The nursery is going to be a wonderful project for me. I just painted it yesterday (all except the cutting in near the ceiling- I hate that part and am hoping I can get my husband or brother to finish it up for me). Now I think I am ready to start prepping the furniture for paint and start one of the sewing projects (the curtains or crib skirt). I'll try to post some pictures as I make progress.