Before being a mom, you never imagine yourself saying things like,
"Why I am I stepping in pee?"
"You're not bleeding, stop whining."
"No you are not hungry, you already had 3 breakfasts."
"Who pooped in this trash can?!!"
"Stop touching your privates."
"Don't let Paisley touch your privates."
"You can't have fruit snacks before 9 am."
"Oh crap, I just vacuumed up a lego head."
"We don't put play-doh in our nose."
"Just wear your brother's underwear."
"I can't hold you right now, I can't hold you right now, I can't hold you right now."
"Twinkle twinkle little fart how I wonder what you are. . ."
I've said all of those things recently.
9 comments:
You're so funny! I was seriously going to do a post like this too. It's funny to hear yourself say things like 'get your face out of my butt' and 'we don't put anything on our wee wees' Ahh life as a mamma!!
PS I'm totally loving your hair! Adorable. Do you like it?
This post made me laugh out loud at work. Thanks. I hope I don't get in trouble. This place is serious you know...
In other news. Another mom blogger wrote the following recently:
I am not your napkin.
I am not anyone's napkin.
I am not a napkin at all.
Get your hot dog off of my arm.
Stop blowing your nose in my sleeve.
I just laughed myself to tears.
What about:
No feet on the table.
We do not put our feet in our oatmeal!
Put your clothes on.
You can't be outside without your clothes.
Why are there underwear on this table?
Is this pee pee?
Stop smearing snot across your face.
No pooping in the yard!!
You are awesome. Do you ever find yourself yelling "I HATE THIS DAY!" That's something I say sometimes after I spent 4 hours cleaning and it is destroyed in 3 minutes.
This is too funny! I also thought of doing a post like this. I started a list, but forgot about it till now :) Also, I love all your inspiration rooms. You have great taste! I always love reading your blog, you're so fun.
this is awesome! it's probably a good thing I haven't kept track of the crazy things I say to my kids!
p.s. I love your style. and I agree- you are there most of the time, so I say do what you want! :)
A week later, I am still laughing at, "Who pooped in the trash can?!!"
Laughing out loud. We so should live by each other!!!
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