Before being a mom, you never imagine yourself saying things like,
"Why I am I stepping in pee?"
"You're not bleeding, stop whining."
"No you are not hungry, you already had 3 breakfasts."
"Who pooped in this trash can?!!"
"Stop touching your privates."
"Don't let Paisley touch your privates."
"You can't have fruit snacks before 9 am."
"Oh crap, I just vacuumed up a lego head."
"We don't put play-doh in our nose."
"Just wear your brother's underwear."
"I can't hold you right now, I can't hold you right now, I can't hold you right now."
"Twinkle twinkle little fart how I wonder what you are. . ."
I've said all of those things recently.