Thursday, September 07, 2006

Celebrating our Differences

With all the turmoil in the world, could I be talking about the clash of cultures, religions, races? No. I am talking about the differences between my husband and myself. I was recently viewing a blog on What on earth is that smell? that asked what attracted her readers to their mates. I thought of the obvious things like his face and body and excellent kissing skills. But what it really got me thinking about was all our many differences.
Do we enjoy the same music? No
Trent mostly listens to country music and is not really passionate about music at all. I enjoy so many different kinds of music and I absolutely love it and use it to enhance or change my mood. I love creative lyrics. I love so many different kinds: rock, punk,emo/indie, classic rock, oldies, and gospel. Occasionally I will listen to country.
Do we enjoy the same academic classes? Hardly.
While Trent enjoyed and excelled in his construction management classes, including electronics, plumbing, construction law, blueprint drawing, and the like I do not have a mechanical mind.
I love things like art history, psychology, english, life drawing and such. I miss school, Trent never looks back.
Do we appreciate the same things? Not really
Trent appreciates things like architecture, engineering, and machinery. I appreciate the aesthetics of interior design, artwork, and literature. I like words. I have a strong desire to increase my vocabulary. I have no desire to learn the history and inner workings of the Glen Canyon Dam.
Do we enjoy the same entertainment? Some
We can usually agree on movies fairly easy. We will watch most of the same TV shows. Some of our favorites include Scrubs, That 70's show, The Simpsons, and The Office. He tolerates my watching of Project Runway, Design Star (and various other design shows), and Gilmore Girls. I tolerate and sometimes enjoy the watching of Mythbusters, Dirty Jobs, and American Choppers. I would like to go see plays and shows(you know, bands playing). But with a husband that has no desire to go and with 2 small children I do not enjoy those forms of entertainment right now. I do appreciate the fact that my husband is not a sports fanatic. We would definitely require a 2nd TV if one had to be tuned to every football, basketball, or baseball game that was aired.
Once we discussed going to New York. I would want to see a Broadway show, art museums, and fabulous restaurants. Trent wants to see where the twin towers were. I guess we could enjoy central park and the Empire State Building together.
Do we enjoy the same hobbies/activities? Some.
We both like to wakeboard, cliff jump, and lift weights. Trent enjoys motorized sports more than me. I have little confidence behind the wheel of a four wheeler or snowmobile. Trent likes to drive tractors and ride bikes and shoot guns. I am not real great at any of those things. I like to draw and decorate our home. We both pole-vaulted in high school and college. I think that had a lot to do with bringing us together.
I am a cuddler, a smotherer, a compliment giver, dependant, and insecure. Trent is none of those things.
Anyway, I haven't added up all these differences and weighed them against our similarities. The whole point of this post is that I love my husband. Sometimes our differences make our marriage a little bit harder. But mostly I think we balance eachother out pretty well. Trent is the calm to my instability. Trent is the sense to my irrationality. Knowing he enjoys a clean house and a bed that's made motivates me to be a better homemaker.
Perhaps I am the silliness and comic relief to his easygoing, seriousness. Maybe he contributes mostly to making me better. I don't know. I like to think somehow I make him better too. He teaches me things I would never have learned on my own. He helps me appreciate things I wouldn't have taken a second glance at. I am so glad he is those things I am not and that he helps me on my way to becoming the woman I want to be.


Unknown said...

looks to me like you and trent could go into a pretty successful custom home business. he could design the home layout, and you could do the decorating.

Katie said...

Great post, Robin. I've often thought that some of the things that drew me to Josh are the things that drive me batty now (like his need to make people laugh all the time).

Anonymous said...

good post... i might copy. but my list might be longer.

the motto of bryce's and my marriage is "opposites attract."

celebrate differences indeed!

Emily said...

Great post. I will probably have to copy it. And also, being raised by Colleen you should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition (specifically: at).

Gina said...

Very insightful way to find positive perspective on your marriage. I have a hard time doing that when I am once again reminded of how different Ian and I are. UHG!

Millie said...

Hey, thanks for the linky. I think it's very healthy to point out differences (as long as they don't get judgemental like "I pick up my dirty clothes and he sets his on fire" or something).

Bri and I are very different too, and didn't know each other very long before we got married, but it still works because the important things are the same.

That said, I can't eat fish or onions unless we go out to eat or I buy tiny amounts and make them just for myself. :) He's so picky.

Anonymous said...

Great post!

al and I are different in so many ways, but we're similar in all of the important aspects. We agree on parenting styles, fashion, and financials.

But, we each own our own TiVo boxes and gawk at each others season passes.