Still no camera

I haven't really been looking for it lately, because I really don't know where to look anymore.
Anyway, I start my Wellness Challenge today and am looking forward to hopefully being and fitter, healthier, and happier me. When I say happier it is not because I find myself to be unhappy in general, but I definitely have my times. For example, I have found myself cussing under my breath a lot lately. Since Henry learned the word "dammit" a couple of weeks ago, I am at least doing it inaudibly to children ears now :) But I hate the feeling. Why am I doing it? It doesn't make anything better or even relieve any stress. It's pretty much stupid. But yet. . . It seems that I have this problem when it has been a long time since I have had a break. And by having a break, I don't mean going grocery shopping after the kids are in bed or even going to Bunko after the kids are in bed. It means having time to do something that I want to do while someone else takes care of the children, you know, during the day. We've had a couple of dates, but I still feel like I really haven't had a break for a long time. I'm tired. Motivation is low.

Also, I know I am a crappy housewife. Please don't try to say otherwise, that is not why I said that. I hate cleaning (somehow there is no satisfaction finishing a job that is immediately destroyed), don't really like cooking, and can't really afford to beautify my home how I would like to. I know that it's not important to have nice things, but I'll be so grateful to replace the brass hanging light fixtures one day! Eew.

I think that doing this wellness challenge will help because if I can have specific goals that make me feel better, inside and out, I will have more motivation to change in other areas of my life as well. Such as using my time more wisely etc., etc.

Wish me luck!